Back to school jitters

Preparing to go to school and actually going to school are two different things. That hit home pretty clearly yesterday when I went for induction. Several people asked me how I felt about going to school in a different country, and my most outstanding answer was “excited!”.

However, yesterday morning, scratch that, the night before, back to school jitters started to set in. It was so bad that I didn’t go to bed till about 5.20am. So many thoughts ran through my head –all of them pointless at the end of the day. I’ll break them down.

What if I got lost

I live about 45 minutes away from my City University –by train that is. It may be by train, but it involves a couple of buses and the Undergound/tube. What got me afraid of getting lost is the latter. The Underground is a scary network of railway lines with several stops. If you don’t pay attention to your stops and what line to take, woe betide you.

The beauty about the Underground is that there is a map explaining everything –looks like those Geography lessons were not a waste after all. There are also signposts everywhere. In short, as long as you can read, you’ll find your way. The staff at different points is also really helpful so ask, and you shall not get lost. So there was no need for me to worry about getting lost.

On top of all the above, there are apps like the National Rail app and Moovit which a friend introduced me too, and they clearly highlight what line I should take, at what station, and how many stops a route has, complete with times, and delays if any. I highly recommend these apps for any student who is new to the UK.

What’s more, I had gone to the university on Saturday, with the help of my sisters who are more familiar with the transport set up. On Saturday, we figured out the most convenient route for me. So, again, there was no reason for my fear of getting lost.

But fear has a way of creeping into our lives. In my case, it was in the form of reminding me that I hadn’t travelled on my own in the UK before yesterday. The only other time I did so was from the plane to the arrival lounge at Heathrow. Every other time, I have been with my sisters.

When I got up yesterday morning, and said my prayers, I remembered my lesson about letting go, and letting God do His thing.

And I made it to City and back without getting lost.

What if I stick out like a sore thumb

This fear was more about the mind playing on my insecurities. I don’t usually let any insecurities get the best of me but since I was joining a new environment, they got a chance to come to the forefront.

The last time I was in school was 2010, and I loved it. But would I still love it, five years later? What if I’ve killed too many brain cells watching Friends re-runs that the only greeting I’ll be able to offer is, “how you doin?”

It didn’t help that I’d read an article earlier, advising anyone who plans on socialising with a new group of people, to prepare conversation starters. The article had gone on to highlight the different ways you can do that but I hadn’t got to that part of the article, bookmarking it for later instead. So here I was, without any talking points –as if I’ve ever really prepared talking points hehe.

I got to the venue about 10 minutes early, and as I waited outside the room with the other students, and these insecurities running my head, I did what I always do to calm myself down these days. I went to my Bible. Thank God for smartphones because now I can go with it everywhere. The day’s verse turned out to be Zephaniah 3:17 –talk about being reminded about who set this whole journey in place! Just like that, a calm came over me. [Confession: I didn’t know the book of Zephaniah was in the Bible *insert that monkey covering its face emoji*]

I walked into the room without a care, took my seat and said my hellos to the guys next to me. It turns out 90 per cent of my programme has international students so we’re all just as nervous about the new environment. If the group I met yesterday is anything to by, looks like I’m in good company for the next year.

It turns out that my fear were invalid. All the speakers got me excited about the next year so it looks like I still love school –yes, I’m one of those people who puts up their hand to ask a question just before the bell rings… hehe. I got a lot of bad stares for the last part in high school. It taught me to go after the teacher and ask my questions then.

Oh, and among the many opportunities my course comes with is free French classes! I’d planned to start French classes with a friend this month then Chevening happened. And here I was worrying myself silly, for no reason.