A taste of warm British hospitality

Last month I got a taste of warm British hospitality. When I tweeted a similar line after that, someone sent me a message, asking whether I was being sarcastic and had forgotten to put warm in quotes. The person explained that the British are stereotypically as warm as British weather. That is the thing with stereotypes –they cloud our judgement and make us miss out on some wonderful things. And that is just what my weekend at Margaret’s was; wonderful.

The weekend happened thanks to HOST UK. The organisation connects international students to UK families for a day or weekend. I first heard about them from the Chevening secretariat as a suggestion on how we can make the best of our time in the UK, and again during the orientation week at City University. Both times, I was ambivalent but after I heard only good stories from a few friends, I tried it out. And by trying it out I mean filling in the form that says I’m interested in staying with a family for a weekend. If you ever apply for a HOST visit, this part is important because the information you provide goes a long way in a host deciding to have you over.

When I met my host, Margaret Martin, she said my request for a family that would not get uncomfortable if I spoke about God was one of the reasons she agreed to host me. Indeed, when we first made contact, she wrote how she was looking forward to us sharing our faith stories, and taking me to her church.

My highlights of the weekend?

Margaret

From the moment she met me at the train station, we got along like we had been friends for ages. You know those awkward silences that come up when you meet someone for the first time? The ones you try to fill up with some mundane topic? Not once were those silences there. We talked about everything; from our families to stories I have only shared with my best friend. At one point both of us were thirsty from all the talking. I kid not. To think I was worried we would run out of talking points since it would only be just the two of us for three days; all my other friends had either stayed with a family of more than three people or gone on their visits with a few other students. I therefore did know what to expect since it would only be Margaret and I.

The other thing about Margaret is that she inspired me with the way she lives her life. She may be retired but she lives such a busy life that after a few days with her, I realised that I waste a lot of time doing nothing. She gardens, which means maintaining an allotment of fruit and vegetables beside her backyard garden. She sails, which I thought meant going on large boat with several peoples and cruising on the river. What she does is go out on the river on a topper, which leaves her at the mercy of the wind as she controls the sail. Did I mention that she is almost 70? She crotchets, and not just from memory. She watches YouTube videos to learn new patterns and everything. Spending time with her, I was ashamed of all the times I’ve thought myself too old, at 27, to try out something new. Then there is the work she does with the pastoral care ministry at her church, which involves visiting members of the congregation.

All this while being an attentive mother and grandmother –she spoke about her children and grandchildren often, exchanging messages with them sometimes. As a former primary teacher, she must have been loved by her students. The evidence was in all the colourful and aww-worthy cups and keepsakes with praises for teachers –all gifts from her charges. Let’s just say I have another phenomenal woman to look up to.

The food!

Before the Host visit, my encounter with British food was limited to say the least. At Margaret’s I had salmon, potatoes and broccoli with crumble for dessert one day, roast beef dumplings on another with lemon drizzle for dessert and the tastiest lasagna I have eaten. It was so good I asked for the recipe. Haven’t got down to preparing it but I definitely have to. We got to make the lemon drizzle together, and by together I mean I helped grate the zest off the lemon. Oh, that’s the other thing! I learnt what all the recipes mean when they mention the zest of the lemon –it’s that outer yellow or green bit of the lemon skin.

Sightseeing

One of favourite things to do is to walk around and take in interesting things. I didn’t mention this in my application yet I enjoyed a lot of it that weekend. On the first day, I took in a bit of South Woodham Ferrers as Margaret and I walked from her home to the sailing club. On the way, I got to see where her allotment is, the different architecture of the area and the general scenery. That general scenery included Fenn Creek and the River Crouch. Near the creek and river is a trail that screams tranquility. It is the perfect spot to take a quiet walk with your dog –in fact we ran into a dog that was enjoying getting itself wet in the water. Taking the walk with Margaret was like having my own walking Google as she pointed out different flowers, plants and birds by name, sharing titbits on them. Now I know my blackbirds from my thrushes; I used to call all small birds, small birds, now I look them up. Birding adventures, here I come!

The second day of sightseeing took us to an antique and crafts place – Battlesbridge Antiques Centre whose venue itself is interesting. The building used to me a mill and now has floors of antiques with a tea room on the top floor which is a good place to also take in an aerial view of the Crouch. Do you know what it feels like to browse around floors of interesting crafts, lamps, furniture, clocks, rugs, curios, without being hurried along? Pure joy is what it is. We saw the functional, quirky, useless but pretty, and the what-is-that-supposed-to-be. One of the interesting things was a DVD which tells you what was making news in the year you were born. One of the headlines on Margaret’s was a scandalous new trend of the two-piece swimsuit which they were calling the “bikini”. Yes, the bikini was in quotes. We both laughed at how commonplace the bikini is today.

The third day, which blessed us with warm weather, was spent taking in the RHS Garden Hyde Hall. The word garden makes me think of a that small patch of the land at the back of the house. Hyde Hall is definitely not a patch since it sits on all of 360 acres. I hinted at Margaret’s gardening proficiency and boy was it a delight to see it in action at the garden. She is a member of the Royal Horticulture Society –now you know what the RHS stands for so I got a taste of the benefits of being a member. We walked the gardens as she pointed out the different plants, flowers, a fish pond and trees. One of these was a tree her class’ gardening club planted. As she pointed out the tree, Margaret had a smile that said she could still the little ones planting the tree. I did not know pansies and tulips blooms in all the colours I saw them in. Now I know.

In short, it was a visit worth making because I made a friend more than anything.

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